Episode 3 of...

Do Or Don't

Warfare

Me:  Alright!  Episode 3!  This episode starts like this:  You rule a fortress.  Now, somehow, robbers sneak in and steal lots and lots and lots of you money, the money you were going to use to help the poorer people of your kingdom get homes.  However, your Night-Wall Guards see someone running away from your castle.  Do you:  A, Rush out with the troops you have after the thief.  B, send out a small detachment of your stealthiest men to hunt the thief down.  Or C, not go after the robber.  But there is one other thing... however, that will only be revealed once you pick you answer.

Cluster:  Cluster not like this!  Cluster not know which one he die in!

Andan:  If you are just going to scream like a baby in want of milk, shut up.

Cluster:  Andan tell Cluster to shut up!?!?!?  Outrageous!

Andan:  *gasp* Wow, you have the intelligence to say outrageous, maybe, maybe, I underestimated you.

Cluster:  Uuuuuh.  What outrageous mean?

Andan:  Oh, uh, nevermind.

Me:  Sir Andan, which is you choice?

Andan:  Hmmm... I'll pick... B.

Me:  And you, Cluster?

Cluster:  Cluster pick A.

Me:  Now debate why, I'll reveal the other factor in a bit.  Andan, explain your choice.

Andan:  I choose B because my main force chasing after the robber would be pointless.  They wouldn't catch up to them and they wouldn't be very effective even if they did catch him.  If I send out my stealthiest scouts after him, they will have a much more likely chance of catching him since they don't have the main force to slow them down.

Me:  Cluster?

Cluster:  Cluster picked A betuz if you storm out, den you'd catch 'im as easy as catching a fly by hemming him into corner.

Andan:  Could you please stop using stupid allegories?

Cluster:  CLUSTER ALLEGORIES NOT STUPID!!!

Me:  Cool down!  I will now reveal the hidden object that would come into play.  As soon as you send out troops, they are ambushed, slaughtered, and you fortress besieged.  Or, if you had sent out all you troops, then the enemy hiding around the back would slip in and fight you as your men were coming out of you open and exposed gates.

Andan:  Okay, so I loose a few scouts, no big deal.

Cluster:  *moans* Dat mean all my troops die!?!?!?

Me:  Andan, it actually is a big deal.  Those people who were going to benifit from the money are angry, they think now that it was one of your plots to act like you were going to give them money, but then steal it from yourself and use it hiddenly at your own wish.  And Cluster, not exactly, you MAY be able to save your fortress, but I'm not allowed to give any hints.

Cluster:  YAY!  Cluster troops not die!

Andan:  Errr... so I have to get the money.

Me:  Cluster, how would your troops not die?

Cluster:  Author just said they didn't.

Me:  Only depends on what you do...

Cluster:  Oh.  Cluster rush back in fortress and hide.

Me:  *sigh*  Andan, how would you get your money back?

Andan:  Knowing that there were going to be ambushes along the way, I would march out my forces with archers on the walls to cover my  advance.  From there, my own troops would have scouts and constant aware guards.

Me:  Good answer.  Cluster, have you found a way to save your troops yet?

Cluster:  CLUSTER GENIUS!  CLUSTER GOT IDEA!  Cluster and archers go onto walls and fire at attacking enemy.  Then, Cluster go down and help maylay troops and beat off the enemy.

Me:  I think it's Melee.  Okay.  Closing statement anyone?

Cluster:  All voters should vote for Cluster.  Cluster smart, Cluster know what good for people.
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Voting closes October 14.

Since I don't think anyone else is going to vote, I'll post the winner of DODW Episode 2.

THE WINNER IS!  (to use HyperLinkzer's awesome method)

S

C
R
O
L
L

D
O
W
N
I
I
I
I
I
I
I

Cluster!

That is right.  The score was:

Cluster 2.

Andan 0.

Cluster:  YAY!  CLUSTER PUMMEL ANDAN! CLUSTER PUMMEL ANDAN!  *Dances away*

The News Report:

In this episode, it seemed Andan severely lacked his former ability.  Despite Cluster's well, um, his ways, Andan was clearly behind him.  We hope in the next episode Andan will study more.

Well, you heard it from the news reporters too... although that doesn't mean much at times...

ADDITIONAL NEWS:

Episode 3 will be out October 12.  (I'm excited to give you this one... :D)  And I'll also be working on pictures for Cluster and Andan... but don't be surprised if you are surprised... if that made any sense, lol.

So the polls on the right side of the blog have closed!  I'll change them soon, however, I will post the results.

1 of the people liked writing better in the evening out of five.
3 of the people liked writing better late at night.
and 1 liked writing in the early morning best.

For the other poll, 100% liked Fantasy Fiction the best... no surprise for that one.  :D

Anyway, I will announce the winner of DODW (Do or Don't: Warfare) on October 12th, 2012.

Do or Don't

Warfare

Yup, it's time again for episode 2.  This season will feature five episodes, just giving you a heads up.

Me:  Alright, you are in a similar situation as the soldiers were at The Charge of the Light Brigade.  For any of you who do not know what this particular battle was set up, it was  (basically) like this:

The Commanding General of the British forces stood upon a hill.  He wrote down a vague form of attack to the people not on the hill, that were down in the valley.  Now, the Russian (whom the British were fighting) had two positions.  One, was to the left, on a range hills, and the other was in the valley, facing the main British forces.

Now, the commanding general of the British forces sends a badly written message to Lord Nolan (some kind of relation to him I believe, so they didn't get along well).  Now, Lord Nolan rides down into the valley and gives the orders to the general down there.  The general ask "which guns" and Lord Nolan replies, waving his hand over the entire battle field (including the Russian troops up on the hill, that the soldiers in the valley could not see).  The General in the valley, thus thought he meant the guns right in front of him.

So, The General in the valley rides out at the Russians in the valley, with, The Light Brigade (cavalry).  The Heavy Brigade (also cavalry, this particular brigade was called the "Heavy" brigade because it has strong, but slower, horses than the Light Brigade) was backup for The Light Brigade.

Now, the Russians up on the hill (the hill to the left of the British perspective) began pounding the Light Brigade, and the Russians in the valley began firing.

Thus, as you can see, it was a disaster, but that's not all.  Lord Nolan, seeing the mistake, charged out with The Light Brigade to tell them they were attacking the wrong guns, but he never even made it.  For, in the thousands of bullets, the literal storm of lead, he was shot, dead.

The Light Brigade charged on, suffering immense casualties, but at last getting to the guns in the valley.  Surprisingly, they took the gun position!  Unfortunately, they could not hold it, for from up on the hill they were still being pounded, and the Russians who had fled the valley position, were coming back.  So, the Light Brigade turned back, going through the same massacre again.  Out the 660 some, only 100 and some survived.

But that wasn't all!  The Russians were now attacking, you only have a small force to fight off the massive Russian cavalry.  You could, A, run away, and possibly never see you home again.  B, make a valiant stand (which could easy be your end), or C.  Attack again with your infantry and Heavy Brigade.

Which would you choose?

Cluster:  *belches* Cluster pick C.

Andan:  B.

Me:  Okay, Cluster, why did you choose C?

Cluster:  Well, number one, it da first letter of me name.

Me:  And number two...?

Cluster:  You knows what day say, best offense is da worst defense... er, somethin'

Andan:  And that proves your point how?

Me:  Cluster, I think you mean the a good offense is a good defense.

Cluster:  Yah, da.  So's I go and crush the enemy up on da hill, widda' Heavy Brigade and Infantry, den I can crush da last Viking spot.

Me:  Russian, Cluster, Russian.  Alright, Andan, why did you choose B?

Andan:  If I stay and fight, then I probably beat off the enemy, and then, I will attack.

Cluster:  Yah, but yous get mashed befur you can 'tack again.

Andan:  How so?

Cluster:  Yous only got like, a few thousands men, while da Russ has got like, fifty thousands.

Me:  Cluster, it's Russians.  And no, the Russians do not have fifty thousand.  There infantry is about the same as yours.  But they do have more artillery.

Cluster:  'kay.  Well, me plan would way work.

Andan:  Not as good as mine.

Cluster:  Wellz dat's just becuz-

Me:  OKAY! The judges can decide from here on.

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Does that make sense?  If it doesn't you can either look it up or I'll explain it better. :D

Season 1

Episode 1

Today is the grand opening of...

DO OR DON'T

WARFARE

This season is on Medieval Warfare, and other seasons will consist of other such things.  So with that, let me introduce the two contestants.

Me:  Welcome Sir Andan of...

Andan:  Herro!

Me:  And General... Cluster.

Cluster:  Hey'o!  I am General dude Cluster!  I was named after the famous and brilliant General Custer, who currently resides in Boston, Russia.

Me:  General Custer was killed about 160 years ago.  And his real current location is "six feet under."  Oh, and Boston isn't in Russia, either.

Cluster:  Dat's what fake history books say.  True history is dat he still 'live.  Boston WAY in Russia!  It like in da northern province called like... France.  Where "six feet under" anyway?

Me:  In the grave.  Anyway, let's get this episode on with.  Cluster, you are trapped.  You are in a valley with only six thousand troops to command.  What would you do?

Cluster:  I'd totally just mow 'em down.

Me:  Uuuuuh, this is medieval warfare I'm talking about.  Let's make this more simple.  A:  You could charge out of the valley in which you are surrounded and get slaughtered terribly.  B:  You could wait for an ally to arrive (it could possibly be 2 or more days until then.)  Or C:  Go along the valley south, hoping to get away from the main enemy force.  Which would be your choice?

Cluster:   Dat not make sense.

Me:  Just answer!

Cluster:  'kay, fine.  B.

Me:  Andan, which would be your choice.

Andan:  C.

Me:  Now, discuss, KINDLY, why you think so.

Andan:  If I wait until allies come, then, I will be able to attack from outside the valley AND from inside.

Cluster:  But you get smashed before ally come.

Andan:  Who says?

Cluster:  You be mashed into mashed 'taters cuz enemy come on you from all directions and mash you.

Andan:  But I'd put up a fight.

Cluster:  Dat not matter.  You still become mashed 'taters if you does stay.

Me:  Alright, so, Cluster, why did you choose B?

Cluster.  Cuz if I go down the da' valley den I can get out by 'tacking where enemy least reinforced.

Me:  Well, that seems (half) reasonable.  I guess it's time for the judges to decide.

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Put in your answers to decide who wins this episode.

Okay, so, a while back I was giving reasons why not to attack a dragon, I'll continue that for a while.

7.  The Princess that you went to save would be dead most likely and in the dragon's stomach, so unless you want to go fishing for bones while an angry dragon is trying to kill you... then you don't want to go after any Fair Maidens or Damsels in Distress.

8.  No sane knight would attack a giant lizard that had scary teeth, terrifying claws, and incinerating mouth wash that could spew upon you at anytime.  That is the relative of a dragon, it's called a Toothpaste Lizard if you don't know already... the name sends shivers down my spine.

9.  Dragons have friends.  One knight alone cannot, let me repeat that, cannot, (that wasn't as good as I wanted it to be) CANNOT, I said, CANNOT, CANNOT kill a dragon.  Reasons:  1, the dragon, as stated before, is ferocious.  And 2, he has FRIENDS!  As soon as you kill one, twenty others will want revenge!  (plus your armor).  Pretty soon you'll be a meal in one, or more, dragon's stomachs.

10 (and last for now).  You cannot simply kill a dragon with a sword.  Rather, you must use ingenious tactics, tactics, I am sure, I am the only one smart enough and capably enough to invent.  That is why, NOT to attack a dragon.

DISCLAIMER:  As I said above, you cannot, CANNOT, kill a dragon without me ingenious head (jk), and uh.... I do not want to fight any dragons at the moment.

Anyway, next post will be serious, I'll post about the recent debate, yeah.

Sorry I haven't posted in a LOOOOONG while, but time has slipped through my hands like sand at the beach... (the beach I never go to).

Anyway.

I need to think of something I feel obligated to do so I keep posting.  What do you want me to do?  I want to have something I know that I should do, like HyperLinkzer's FVF episodes, otherwise why should I really continue this?  I don't know what got into my head when I made it so...

Randomness won't supply an everlasting amount of posts.
Talking about my writings and posting them is what my main blog is for.
Posting tips on writing is what my main blog is for.

So, as you can see, I don't know what to do.  Do you have any ideas?  As I write this, I am scanning my brain furiously............. but nothing has come.

So, basically I am asking whether you want me to continue this, and if you do... then I need your help.