Season 1
Episode 1
Today is the grand opening of...
DO OR DON'T
WARFARE
This season is on Medieval Warfare, and other seasons will consist of other such things. So with that, let me introduce the two contestants.
Me: Welcome Sir Andan of...
Andan: Herro!
Me: And General... Cluster.
Cluster: Hey'o! I am General dude Cluster! I was named after the famous and brilliant General Custer, who currently resides in Boston, Russia.
Me: General Custer was killed about 160 years ago. And his real current location is "six feet under." Oh, and Boston isn't in Russia, either.
Cluster: Dat's what fake history books say. True history is dat he still 'live. Boston WAY in Russia! It like in da northern province called like... France. Where "six feet under" anyway?
Me: In the grave. Anyway, let's get this episode on with. Cluster, you are trapped. You are in a valley with only six thousand troops to command. What would you do?
Cluster: I'd totally just mow 'em down.
Me: Uuuuuh, this is medieval warfare I'm talking about. Let's make this more simple. A: You could charge out of the valley in which you are surrounded and get slaughtered terribly. B: You could wait for an ally to arrive (it could possibly be 2 or more days until then.) Or C: Go along the valley south, hoping to get away from the main enemy force. Which would be your choice?
Cluster: Dat not make sense.
Me: Just answer!
Cluster: 'kay, fine. B.
Me: Andan, which would be your choice.
Andan: C.
Me: Now, discuss, KINDLY, why you think so.
Andan: If I wait until allies come, then, I will be able to attack from outside the valley AND from inside.
Cluster: But you get smashed before ally come.
Andan: Who says?
Cluster: You be mashed into mashed 'taters cuz enemy come on you from all directions and mash you.
Andan: But I'd put up a fight.
Cluster: Dat not matter. You still become mashed 'taters if you does stay.
Me: Alright, so, Cluster, why did you choose B?
Cluster. Cuz if I go down the da' valley den I can get out by 'tacking where enemy least reinforced.
Me: Well, that seems (half) reasonable. I guess it's time for the judges to decide.
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Put in your answers to decide who wins this episode.
Hmmm...I agree with Andan. But I'm not a very good battle strategist...
ReplyDelete:D
ReplyDeleteI have studied a lot of medieval warfare tactics, other ones will be more better (lol), but I wanted to start it off.
I can tell. :) It was really good. Can't wait for the next installment!
DeleteAndan. Cluster was funny though.
ReplyDelete"Cluster: You be mashed into mashed 'taters cuz enemy come on you from all directions and mash you.
Andan: But I'd put up a fight.
Cluster: Dat not matter. You still become mashed 'taters if you does stay."
XD
Hehe.
DeleteCluster may have been based slightly off of Billy... :D I hope you don't mind.
Like I said - it's not copyrighted. :) I don't mind at all.
DeleteEven though I'm too late. i agree with Cluster. Though I'd have to tweak his idea. what I'd do would be to set up a makeshift fort with archers at slits and so forth and wait for the few days it would take my allies to arrive.
ReplyDelete