Dwarven-ish song

"Yo ho ho ho
Onward we go,
Forward we go!
Under mountain, under leaf,
Over hill, over brook,
Through plain, through storm.
Yo ho ho ho,
Onward we go,
Forward we go!"

"Through waters we speed,
Through golden fields we lead,
Under mountains, past it's fountains,
towards the land of gold!"


"Yo ho ho ho
Onward we go,
Forward we go!
Under mountain, under leaf,
Over hill, over brook,
Through plain, through storm.
Yo ho ho ho,
Onward we go,
Forward we go!"

So... I got the idea of that from climbing up and down a large hill near our house.  It was snowing a lot, which made it better.  Not a great song, not at all.

But considering that's the first one I have ever made up... I think I can give myself a bit of slack. :P

(It was also inspired from the Hobbit. :)

~Inksplattered and Sputtering,

The WordWeaver

TAGGED! (Yes, again)

CNGoodhue tagged me, http://writingsofthewriter.blogspot.com/.

So, I post my top favorite authors.  I'll post the in order of my favorites, even though I don't have to.

_________________________________________________________________________________

1.)  J.R.R. Tolkien.  (Best writer EVER, The Children of Hurin is my favorite book of all time).

2.)  Brian Jacques.

3.)  Wayne Thomas Batson.  (Sorry, Sir Wayne, I couldn't decide.)

4.)  Christopher Hopper.  (Read the White Lion Chronicles if you haven't.  AND DO IT NOW! :D)

5.)  J. Tobias Buller.  (If you haven't read The War Horn, you need to, definitely one of my favorite books ever).

6.)  C.S. Lewis.

7.)  Victor Hugo.

8.)  Herman Melville.

9.)  The Writer of Beowulf.  (Whoever that is. O.O)

10.)  I don't know... the UG writers. :)

There you have it.  My favorite authors.  :)

I tag...

Lemme see...

Um...

The Hunter.  http://thehunterslayer.blogspot.com/.  Just to help his blog get off the ground. ;)

TAG!

I am not sure what this tagging thing is, but I saw it on Ryebrynn's blog, and she 'tagged' everyone, so I did it.  Here 'tis.

1.) Do you like chocolate?  Yes.

2.) Do you like sugar?  Yes.

3.) Are you homeschooled?  Yes

4.) Do you write?  Yes.

5.) Have you ever taken a freezing cold shower?  Yes.

6.) Do you like to write?  Yes...

7.) Do you have a strange interest in everything sugary and sweet?  Yes.

8.) Are you allergic to anything?  Yes.

9.) Do you live in a strange location?  Yes.

10.) How many animals do you have?  Yes.

11.) Do you like candy?  Yes.

What?  It isn't write? (PUN)  Okay, all those are true except 10.  I don't have a pet.  Though my brother has five.


Okay, next 11 things.

1.)  Are you human?
2.)  What happened when you killed your own character?
3.)  Have you ever gone crazy for no apparent reason?   (I'm assuming you have).
4.)  Are you short?
5.)  Can you obnoxiously unintentionally without-reason lecture someone for over five hours on writing?
6.)  How old are you?
7.)  DO YOU HATE HUMANS IN GENERAL?
8.)  If your character were to take you as a prisoner, what would you do?
9.)  Are you mad at your breakfast?
10.)  Are you a toddler?
11.)  Can you be awesome?

I'm going to tag...

Um...

Uh...

HyperLinkzer... as long as he doesn't spam me for it. :P

This is a list of 40 bad things that wouldn't have happened (or would have) if everyone in the world was exactly like me.

THE CONSEQUENCES OF EVERYONE BEING THE SAME AS ME.

1.  There would be no electronic devices.

2.  No video Games nor Movies.

3.  No cars, busses, trucks, or any other motorized vehicle.

4.  There would be no weapon other than Medieval technology... possibly not even that.

5.  No one would ever land on the moon.

6.  Neither Communism or Capitalism would exist, only dictatorships, monarchies, or anarchy.

7.  Mathematics would be a dreaded subject, if it was even comprehended.

8.  Everyone would be an author of at least several fantasy books.

9.  There would be to many fantasy books for man-kinds good.

10.  Only people with the right moods at certain times would like mystery fiction.

11.  Everyone likes history.

12.  No body likes horror novels.

13.  Paintings and other pictures would be of the poorest quality, though the people would like to draw.

14.  There would only be a 25% chance that humans would advance beyond Medieval or Dark Age technology.

15.  Cats would, most likely, be extinct.

16.  Everyone would dream of being a good artist.

17.  Everyone would think that their brothers (even though they are the same as him/her) were very odd.

18.  Only a certain measure of politics would surface in the busy, and befuddle minds of the nobles.

19.  Everyone would hate swimming pools or anything water related (i.e. showers).

20.  Hiawian Punch would never have been invented.

21.  Henry Ford would have spent his time dreaming up things he called a "Model T", not actually making it.

22.  Pink would be outlawed.

24.  Buildings would be sloppily constructed.

25.  The likelihood of bread being discovered by growing wheat and grinding it would be very, VERY, slim.

26.  Everyone would be saying "Politics equals, disguised lies."

27.  Leonardo DVinci would have finished most of what he started, unfortunately, that would only be a series of fantasy books.

28.  Kids as old as 12 would have an interest in politics.

29.  Kids 12 and older would be attempting to take over the world...

30.  Hand pumps would have never come into the mind of it creator.

31.  Everyone would hate Legos (though... I must say myself that that wouldn't be such a bad thing...)

32.  It would have taken a genius of his era to invent the bow and arrow.

33.  A genius 33 times that would be required to invent ballistas or catapults.

34.  If boats were built, no one would be able to comprehend how they floated, let alone sailed against the wind.

35.  Markus Perrson, the creator of Minecraft, would have written a fantasy book called, Minecraft, rather than making a video game.

36.  Everyone would eat butterbread for lunch, breakfast, and super.

37.  Macaroni and Cheese would be one of the top three favorite foods of every one, along with Pizza and Chicken Cordon Bleu.  (I don't see a consequence here though...)

38.  When someone said "genetically reverse engineered it" the other person would run away screaming.

39.  Everyone would be inventing a slew of new words weekly.

40.  The bill that says "The right to bear arms" would be abolished for its silly wording.

More to come probably, those are just the ones I thought up real quick.

NaNo Update:  15,832.  Finally the plot has been getting underway, still, the reason for the title is going to be far into the novel.  There is so much material that I don't think I'm going to put it in one book, I might have a sequel... trilogy, who knows, maybe even a cycle.  I have yet to decide the ending, there are two possible ways, yet I was thinking of having one be the end of the second book, so as to keep this novel shorter, for the first option would be slightly less long.

All other writings are on the postponed list, The Black Sorceress, The Spider King novel, The Sci-Fi novel I might write, two novels I have outlined, another I have started, and another two compilations of short stories.  Thus, what I mean, is that I will be posting a lot, but I am going to be VERY BUSY even after NaNo, because then I'll be drafting my NaNo novel, and starting some other writings.  So... yeah...

Also, I'm going to be doing a series of posts on Fantasy Map-Making and the like.

Green
BLUE
YELLOW

I know that someone was wondering why I did that a while ago... the answer... well... just because I'm crazy and random. :P :D

And the winner is....

Andan.

Andan 3.

Cluster 0.

(if I'm wrong, please tell me so)

Andan:  See, brains win over, over... whatever you have, Cluster, I guess that's the lack of them.

Cluster:  CLUSTER HAVE PLENTY BRAINS!  CLUSTER WIN NEXT TIME DOW!

News report:

Andan seemed to make a come back in this episode, yet we don't know if this was just luck.  With Cluster loosing by one episode, though, and only three more to go, Cluster will have to take this next match seriously, if Andan wins the next episode, Cluster will have to win every episode, just to tie it.

Next episode, October 18.

Episode 3 of...

Do Or Don't

Warfare

Me:  Alright!  Episode 3!  This episode starts like this:  You rule a fortress.  Now, somehow, robbers sneak in and steal lots and lots and lots of you money, the money you were going to use to help the poorer people of your kingdom get homes.  However, your Night-Wall Guards see someone running away from your castle.  Do you:  A, Rush out with the troops you have after the thief.  B, send out a small detachment of your stealthiest men to hunt the thief down.  Or C, not go after the robber.  But there is one other thing... however, that will only be revealed once you pick you answer.

Cluster:  Cluster not like this!  Cluster not know which one he die in!

Andan:  If you are just going to scream like a baby in want of milk, shut up.

Cluster:  Andan tell Cluster to shut up!?!?!?  Outrageous!

Andan:  *gasp* Wow, you have the intelligence to say outrageous, maybe, maybe, I underestimated you.

Cluster:  Uuuuuh.  What outrageous mean?

Andan:  Oh, uh, nevermind.

Me:  Sir Andan, which is you choice?

Andan:  Hmmm... I'll pick... B.

Me:  And you, Cluster?

Cluster:  Cluster pick A.

Me:  Now debate why, I'll reveal the other factor in a bit.  Andan, explain your choice.

Andan:  I choose B because my main force chasing after the robber would be pointless.  They wouldn't catch up to them and they wouldn't be very effective even if they did catch him.  If I send out my stealthiest scouts after him, they will have a much more likely chance of catching him since they don't have the main force to slow them down.

Me:  Cluster?

Cluster:  Cluster picked A betuz if you storm out, den you'd catch 'im as easy as catching a fly by hemming him into corner.

Andan:  Could you please stop using stupid allegories?

Cluster:  CLUSTER ALLEGORIES NOT STUPID!!!

Me:  Cool down!  I will now reveal the hidden object that would come into play.  As soon as you send out troops, they are ambushed, slaughtered, and you fortress besieged.  Or, if you had sent out all you troops, then the enemy hiding around the back would slip in and fight you as your men were coming out of you open and exposed gates.

Andan:  Okay, so I loose a few scouts, no big deal.

Cluster:  *moans* Dat mean all my troops die!?!?!?

Me:  Andan, it actually is a big deal.  Those people who were going to benifit from the money are angry, they think now that it was one of your plots to act like you were going to give them money, but then steal it from yourself and use it hiddenly at your own wish.  And Cluster, not exactly, you MAY be able to save your fortress, but I'm not allowed to give any hints.

Cluster:  YAY!  Cluster troops not die!

Andan:  Errr... so I have to get the money.

Me:  Cluster, how would your troops not die?

Cluster:  Author just said they didn't.

Me:  Only depends on what you do...

Cluster:  Oh.  Cluster rush back in fortress and hide.

Me:  *sigh*  Andan, how would you get your money back?

Andan:  Knowing that there were going to be ambushes along the way, I would march out my forces with archers on the walls to cover my  advance.  From there, my own troops would have scouts and constant aware guards.

Me:  Good answer.  Cluster, have you found a way to save your troops yet?

Cluster:  CLUSTER GENIUS!  CLUSTER GOT IDEA!  Cluster and archers go onto walls and fire at attacking enemy.  Then, Cluster go down and help maylay troops and beat off the enemy.

Me:  I think it's Melee.  Okay.  Closing statement anyone?

Cluster:  All voters should vote for Cluster.  Cluster smart, Cluster know what good for people.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Voting closes October 14.

Do or Don't

Warfare

Yup, it's time again for episode 2.  This season will feature five episodes, just giving you a heads up.

Me:  Alright, you are in a similar situation as the soldiers were at The Charge of the Light Brigade.  For any of you who do not know what this particular battle was set up, it was  (basically) like this:

The Commanding General of the British forces stood upon a hill.  He wrote down a vague form of attack to the people not on the hill, that were down in the valley.  Now, the Russian (whom the British were fighting) had two positions.  One, was to the left, on a range hills, and the other was in the valley, facing the main British forces.

Now, the commanding general of the British forces sends a badly written message to Lord Nolan (some kind of relation to him I believe, so they didn't get along well).  Now, Lord Nolan rides down into the valley and gives the orders to the general down there.  The general ask "which guns" and Lord Nolan replies, waving his hand over the entire battle field (including the Russian troops up on the hill, that the soldiers in the valley could not see).  The General in the valley, thus thought he meant the guns right in front of him.

So, The General in the valley rides out at the Russians in the valley, with, The Light Brigade (cavalry).  The Heavy Brigade (also cavalry, this particular brigade was called the "Heavy" brigade because it has strong, but slower, horses than the Light Brigade) was backup for The Light Brigade.

Now, the Russians up on the hill (the hill to the left of the British perspective) began pounding the Light Brigade, and the Russians in the valley began firing.

Thus, as you can see, it was a disaster, but that's not all.  Lord Nolan, seeing the mistake, charged out with The Light Brigade to tell them they were attacking the wrong guns, but he never even made it.  For, in the thousands of bullets, the literal storm of lead, he was shot, dead.

The Light Brigade charged on, suffering immense casualties, but at last getting to the guns in the valley.  Surprisingly, they took the gun position!  Unfortunately, they could not hold it, for from up on the hill they were still being pounded, and the Russians who had fled the valley position, were coming back.  So, the Light Brigade turned back, going through the same massacre again.  Out the 660 some, only 100 and some survived.

But that wasn't all!  The Russians were now attacking, you only have a small force to fight off the massive Russian cavalry.  You could, A, run away, and possibly never see you home again.  B, make a valiant stand (which could easy be your end), or C.  Attack again with your infantry and Heavy Brigade.

Which would you choose?

Cluster:  *belches* Cluster pick C.

Andan:  B.

Me:  Okay, Cluster, why did you choose C?

Cluster:  Well, number one, it da first letter of me name.

Me:  And number two...?

Cluster:  You knows what day say, best offense is da worst defense... er, somethin'

Andan:  And that proves your point how?

Me:  Cluster, I think you mean the a good offense is a good defense.

Cluster:  Yah, da.  So's I go and crush the enemy up on da hill, widda' Heavy Brigade and Infantry, den I can crush da last Viking spot.

Me:  Russian, Cluster, Russian.  Alright, Andan, why did you choose B?

Andan:  If I stay and fight, then I probably beat off the enemy, and then, I will attack.

Cluster:  Yah, but yous get mashed befur you can 'tack again.

Andan:  How so?

Cluster:  Yous only got like, a few thousands men, while da Russ has got like, fifty thousands.

Me:  Cluster, it's Russians.  And no, the Russians do not have fifty thousand.  There infantry is about the same as yours.  But they do have more artillery.

Cluster:  'kay.  Well, me plan would way work.

Andan:  Not as good as mine.

Cluster:  Wellz dat's just becuz-

Me:  OKAY! The judges can decide from here on.

*********************************************************************************

Does that make sense?  If it doesn't you can either look it up or I'll explain it better. :D

Season 1

Episode 1

Today is the grand opening of...

DO OR DON'T

WARFARE

This season is on Medieval Warfare, and other seasons will consist of other such things.  So with that, let me introduce the two contestants.

Me:  Welcome Sir Andan of...

Andan:  Herro!

Me:  And General... Cluster.

Cluster:  Hey'o!  I am General dude Cluster!  I was named after the famous and brilliant General Custer, who currently resides in Boston, Russia.

Me:  General Custer was killed about 160 years ago.  And his real current location is "six feet under."  Oh, and Boston isn't in Russia, either.

Cluster:  Dat's what fake history books say.  True history is dat he still 'live.  Boston WAY in Russia!  It like in da northern province called like... France.  Where "six feet under" anyway?

Me:  In the grave.  Anyway, let's get this episode on with.  Cluster, you are trapped.  You are in a valley with only six thousand troops to command.  What would you do?

Cluster:  I'd totally just mow 'em down.

Me:  Uuuuuh, this is medieval warfare I'm talking about.  Let's make this more simple.  A:  You could charge out of the valley in which you are surrounded and get slaughtered terribly.  B:  You could wait for an ally to arrive (it could possibly be 2 or more days until then.)  Or C:  Go along the valley south, hoping to get away from the main enemy force.  Which would be your choice?

Cluster:   Dat not make sense.

Me:  Just answer!

Cluster:  'kay, fine.  B.

Me:  Andan, which would be your choice.

Andan:  C.

Me:  Now, discuss, KINDLY, why you think so.

Andan:  If I wait until allies come, then, I will be able to attack from outside the valley AND from inside.

Cluster:  But you get smashed before ally come.

Andan:  Who says?

Cluster:  You be mashed into mashed 'taters cuz enemy come on you from all directions and mash you.

Andan:  But I'd put up a fight.

Cluster:  Dat not matter.  You still become mashed 'taters if you does stay.

Me:  Alright, so, Cluster, why did you choose B?

Cluster.  Cuz if I go down the da' valley den I can get out by 'tacking where enemy least reinforced.

Me:  Well, that seems (half) reasonable.  I guess it's time for the judges to decide.

*********************************************************************************

Put in your answers to decide who wins this episode.